Self-Care
I’ve been thinking about self-care quite a bit lately.
My initial opener was going to be “Why is self-care so hard?” And my answers (excuses) came down to lack.
Lack of time in the day, lack of alone time at home, lack of resources. This seemed ridiculous. So I dove deeper.
What is it, exactly, that stops me from carrying out the practices that constitute the self-care in which I want to engage? Okay. But first, what are those practices? I realize when I give myself an extra ten, maybe even just five, minutes—FIVE MINUTES—to salt scrub or dry brush and massage oil into my body before I shower, I feel oh so good. Ideally this practice takes a bit longer. We can really support lymphatic movement with a good scrubbing or oilination. But if all I can manage is five minutes, that’s better than nothing. What stops me from having that much time before I shower and head off for the day?
I did Martha Borst’s Self Mastery Workshop over a decade ago and one of the questions that echoes in my head is, “What was more important?” Which was what she’d asked if someone was late. As my friends and family know, I have a hard time with punctuality. So I’m constantly rushing. Because I’ve done ten other non-important things in the morning, I don’t give myself the time to practice abhyanga, or Ayurvedic self massage. Instead, I rush off into the day without that grounded, centered, beloved feeling that I know comes from this soothing practice. So what gets in the way? Lack of giving myself the time. And lack of prioritizing these practices.
I know when I get up, scrape my tongue (more on this in a future oral health newsletter), drink some water, and go outside for a quick walk, I feel so much more alive and alert for my day. Unfortunately, these screens have a way of worming into my morning, and I check the texts, and look at email, and all the boring things we mindlessly do while minutes tick by. Minutes that I could have spent walking up a hill, breathing in the fresh, foggy morning air, checking out the neighborhoods’ plants and trees. So again: time and priorities.
Even my cat knows it's important to drink plenty of water each day....Though I do wish that he'd stick to his own water bowl!
As I dove deeper into what makes me feel like I’m taking good care of myself, the basic reminder of drinking water came up. My daughter drinks a lot of water. Whenever she comes to hang out, she immediately fills up a mason jar, and she finishes it! I take this in, and each morning I wake up and think, “Okay! If you do nothing else today, drink a lot of water!” And then I make my coffee and rush off to work, trailing a swirl of unfinished projects that I think I’ll have time to complete. But when I do remember to drink water, I notice how good it feels. How my thirsty little cells throw a party of gratitude as the hydration flows down my gullet and plumps everything up just a little bit more. For me, I realized the most basic act of self-care is simply drinking water.
And then I realized, if I actually notice the moments when I am drinking water, and give a little thanks for the water and the pretty mug I drink out of and the moments in my day when I drink it, I could be engaging in a practice throughout the entire day. Let’s go even further than that.
If I actually paid attention to the breaths that I’m taking, every single moment of every single day could be spent in an attitude of gratitude, feeling like my entire existence is an act of self-care.
I’ve been reading Thich Nhat Hanh's book How to Eat and have been influenced by the beauty of mindfulness. Never truly embracing a meditation practice, I appreciate the idea that with attention, each moment can, and dare I say, ought to be engaged in mindfully. This is grounding. This is centering. This brings peace and calm in the midst of whatever else is going on. This. This is what I realize I seek in my desire to “practice better self-care.”
So. It’s not necessarily what I do, but how I do it that will envelop me in the feeling that I am taking good care of my self. Which then will allow me to be grounded and centered, with the ability to respond rather than react to each moment, which is a lovely way to also take care of others in my life. All those excuses for why self-care is “hard” are debunked. I breathe in, and I breathe out.
My selfie by the Yuba River this weekend after I shifted my entire experience by jumping into the water! I felt reborn after that dunk.
As we mark the Autumnal Equinox and the beginning of Libra season, both highlighting balance, I aim to pay attention to the balance between what needs to be done vs. what I want to be doing. And also, how the simple act of cultivating gratitude can shift needs into the realm of wants. I just imagined doing one of my morning chores (scooping out the litter box) with gratitude, and you know, that helps! I love my cats and would be sad to not have to clean up after them. But, I seriously digress.
As we shift from summer to fall, as we near Election Day, as we continue to travel through time and space, let’s keep the intention to practice self-care in whatever small or splurgy ways fill us up.
Wouldn’t you too if you bathed in THIS!?!
At the end of my backcountry newsletter last month, I wrote:
I made a promise to myself years and years ago: always jump into cold, mountain waters. The rejuvenating bite of cold, fresh water awakens my spirit every time.
It’s one of the reasons why I got into that river this weekend. Sometimes it’s hard to make ourselves do what we know will feel good. The reward is always worth it. Go easy, jump in, and if you need a little musical interlude, try this.
